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21 January 2006 @ 01:06 pm
A question for the Broads  
I've been sort of counseling a few people through cheating episodes in their relationships, or that ended the relationship. And the most disturbing thing to me about this is the almost total placing of blame on the other woman.

I think I've managed to drill through the head of at least one of these people that, while yes, the other woman is at fault (particularly if she knew the guy was in a relationship), the majority of the blame rests with the cheater. You don't know what he's told these other women about your relationship. In one case, due to related drama, its pretty plain what he told the other woman (emotionally abused me, didn't understand me, didn't even try to save the relationship, blah, blah, blah). They aren't the ones who made the promise of a relationship to YOU. HE is. So why is it ok to place the blame on these "evil temptresses" who may not even have known you existed?

As a broad, I have found myself tarred with this brush by the significant others of guys who I did not even KNOW were in a relationship. How the fuck am I supposed to honor something I didn't know existed? But somehow it was still all my fault the guy strayed.

I can't be the only one who thinks this is a fucked up aspect of female society. This "stand by your man" bullshit that gives them free rein to be shits while the women duke it out over their unworthy asses.

Sorry, this just chaps my hide. On MIA's album she has a song about a girl who fucked her boyfriend, "You fucked my man and wrecked my home."

Not, "He fucked around on me." The entire onus is put on the other woman. Fuck, watch any of the Montel/Jerry/Sally shows out there.

A further line in the song is, "You might've had him once, but I got him all the time."

Why would you want his cheating ass all the time? Kick him to the curb, wear big stompy boots while you're doing it. GAH!

I know this is only vaguely Broad related, in that I know I've been victim of it, and I'm sure others of you have. Broads seem to be favorite targets of this.
 
 
 
Holonsamajh on January 22nd, 2006 01:13 am (UTC)
The only case I can imagine where more of the fault lay with the other woman was if I were with an infantile man who had no brain, no free will, etc....And it's not bloody likely I would ever pick a guy like that!
Otherwise they are clearly BOTH guilty. How people deal with that is always a challenge, but there's no point in pretending that only one person is at fault.